Interview With The Vampires
by Cullen86ers
Summary: This is a new series of interviews with the vampires of Twilight. I hope to eventually have interviewed every single vampire including vampire Bella at least once. Rated M for language.
1. Introduction

**I don't own Twilight or any of the characters within the series. I just like to play with them and make them my own. **

**Interview With The Vampires**

**This is a new series of interviews with the vampires of Twilight. My betas have been having fun asking each character different questions about things they always wanted to know. I hope to eventually have interviewed every single vampire (including vampire Bella) at least once.**

**If you have a question or questions that were not answered by your favorite vamp, please let me know and I will be sure to ask him or her just as soon as I can. **

**These all started as a writing exercise to work with the characters and get to know them better for other stories so my characters can be nice and dynamic. It became something fun to laugh at and enjoy. I decided to share it with y'all because I just love making you laugh. **


	2. Alice

**I don't own Twilight, I just mess with the characters and then send them back home to their mother, Stephanie Meyer. **

**This is the beginning of my new series, Interview with the Vampires. I started this as an exercise to get to know some of the characters better for my own writing purposes. Now it's just entertainment. **

**This is one of my beta's, Twificfan, interview with Alice Cullen. **

**Thank you to twificfan for the great questions for Alice, and also thank you to therealteacher for beta-ing the chapter. My typing is hideous at best.

* * *

**

**So Alice, I have some questions for you:**

**Have you ever used your gift deviously against any family members? Please be specific.**

Oh yes, definitely. You see Edward is a stick in the mud. So when we want to do something fun but we know he won't do it and could possibly try to stop us, I mess with decisions and find a way to make him play along. Then I make sure he's paying attention and I have a fake vision in his presence that fits into what we need to make what we want, happen. Emmett and I have found this to be the most effective way to get what we want from the old tight wad. I don't use it mischievously with anyone else.

* * *

**Have you ever regretted telling or not telling somebody one of your visions about them?**

Yes.

I saw the Italy thing as soon as Edward decided to leave Bella. I didn't tell him because at the time I didn't know he was going to cut me off from Bella as well. Once he told me I showed him the vision in protest but he said it wouldn't happen. That is when he decided to tell Bella to take care of herself. Obviously it didn't help.

Once I saw Maria coming back for Jasper. This was a few years after we had been married. He got really nervous and that is when he finally told me about the day he finally left her. I felt really bad because the vision was really fuzzy. She didn't know where he was and basically had just decided to try and hunt him down. I jumped the gun a little and told Jasper she was coming. I figured she'd put a tracker on him and I wanted us to have a head start. His reaction tore my heart out. I've never seen him fall to pieces like that. It wasn't even that he was afraid for himself, but for me and Esme and even Rose. He's so fiercely protective of our whole family but especially the women in it. There are still times I apologize for that day.

* * *

**Did you ever have romantic feelings toward any of your "family members", other than Jasper?**

Absolutely not.

Jasper is the completion of my soul. I love each one of our family members in a unique and individual way. That makes my relationship with each one of them very close and at times intimate, but I have never felt the way I do for Jasper, toward anyone else at any time and I never will.

* * *

**You are very close to Edward, why do **_**you**_** think that is?**

I think that even among vampires (inherent outcasts from humans) you can still be an outcast. We both have powers that go above and beyond what your average vampire can do. This makes us somewhat of outcasts among all other vampires. Also he is the only family member that did not have a mate for a long time. (He does now but when I met him he certainly did not, Bella wasn't even born yet.) I don't remember any of my childhood, where as every other family member does. I think we understood each other on another level because we both had these powers that made us weird and then had something that made us weird even within our family (Our powers are fully accepted in the family so we're not really outcasts in the family for them.) Also, we are both the two youngest, so we have a bond on that level as well. We were both changed a little younger than everyone else so we still have a little bit of playfulness or immaturity that the others don't have. It rarely shows but it's buried down there really deep and when it comes out it is WAY too much fun!

* * *

**Are there any secrets that you keep from Jasper? **

I thought there might be after the Maria vision. I talked to him about it though and decided I never wanted to keep secrets from him. We set up a system between us for him to fully understand how solid and sure my visions are, so I always tell him my visions. Those are the only things I would ever keep from him. He is so attuned to me that I can't really keep anything else from him because of _his_ power.

* * *

**Have you ever considered leaving Jasper? Why?**

NEVER! I have never wanted to leave Jasper, even when he has told me I should. I have told him on each of those occasions that if he leaves me I will follow him (whether he likes it or not) and that if he asks me to leave him I won't. Once he planned to treat me really bad and lie about not loving me anymore. Of course I saw him planning it and stopped him in his tracks. Yea he was in trouble with me for thinking about lying to me, but I would never leave him.

There have been some really tough times in our relationship like when James told Bella he knew me as a human and when Jasper had a hard time dealing with his past life. Never, even in the hardest of those times have I ever wanted to leave him. He has always loved and supported me when I need it. Just look how he struggles through school year after year just so he can sit next to me in class. I love how he is also willing to let his manly side go to let me comfort him when he needs it.

There are certainly times I'm not so happy with him, and there are times that we fight. That is all just part of loving someone so much and spending so much time with them. No matter how hard we fight I could never leave him, because I can always feel his love for me and I know he can feel mine for him. We do tend to fight hard on the rare occasions we do fight, but then we always make up harder!

* * *

**Have Carlisle and Esme ever had to "ground" you for something you did? What was it?**

Not really. They have made a show of it once or twice. I might have gotten into some mischief with Jasper and Edward at the hospital once and of course he had to make a show for his colleagues. We had to hold back laughing as Carlisle raised his voice and wagged his finger like a stereotypical father. Those things are just not him at all. (If he's upset with you he'll just talk with you about it.) The worst part was that Edward could hear that he was actually laughing at our antics as well, and Jasper could feel his amusement. Carlisle knows that we are all adults and sometimes (like anyone) make choices that aren't the best. He's the type of guy that just talks with you about it. He wants you to be able to see what other options you may have had or in Jasper's case with slipping up that sometimes it can't be helped. Even Edward never gets "grounded" even though technically he's still a minor by human standards.

I think Carlisle would make an amazing father if he could really be one because of the way he leads us and handles our mischief. He does get in on it at times as well, leaving poor Esme to just shake her head. Carlisle is helping us to pull her out of her shell a little bit and she's starting to play with us a little more now.

* * *

**What would your dream career be?**

Fashion Designer, of course.

* * *

**Is there anything that you always wanted to buy but didn't?**

Of course not. I see it, I want it, I buy it, Jazz finds a way to make it fit in the car. The story of my life!

* * *

**What is your favorite sexual fantasy?**

I dream about getting to mark my Jasper. He has so many scars and he sees them as such a negative. I happen to know that both of his brothers and his father have bites from their mates that (of course are hidden) they are quite proud of. I wish I could give him one someplace he doesn't have many, something he can have a look at sometimes and know I love him. I think it would help him see that his scars give his beautiful face character and just make him more rugged and yummy. I think he would see himself in a more positive light physically if he allowed me to do so. It's an ongoing conversation and we're working out how we can make that happen in a way we can both be comfortable with it.

* * *

**Have you ever done something that you are hugely embarrassed about?**

Well, Jasper and I pulled a bit of an Emmett and Rose once at school. He was playing with my emotions during a particularly boring class. I made up and excuse to get him out of that class and had my way with him in the boys locker room. No one caught us or anything but still, it's not something we normally do. We leave that kind of behavior to Emmett and Rose. We generally can control ourselves more than that. Although after that, we have snuck out of school for the remainder of the day for similar purposes, but we are in secluded places then.

* * *

**Have you ever had human blood?**

I have certainly smelled it. However, I have never tasted it. Even that time in the ballet studio when I got Bella's blood on my hand, I wiped it off and didn't taste it. Something about knowing Jasper would be able to taste it in our kisses or when he kissed my skin, and even be able to taste it if he went down on me, make me stop. I know him tasting that trace evidence would make his control that much harder and I want to always make his existence easier. I never want to make life harder for him in anyway.

* * *

**Did you ever have any human friends before Bella?**

I hopefully had some when I was a human, before I went into that asylum. As far as having human friends as a vampire, I never spent much time with humans because I knew that inherently that would mean time away from Jasper. I also knew I would smell like human when I got home and I valued him more than any other human I ever met, until Bella. I knew Bella was different from the day I met her. I took special precautions when spending time with her and then Jasper. I did everything I could to let Jasper also enjoy time with Bella because she's really a very loving person, and he needs as many of those types of people around him as possible. At first it was hard for him (i.e. the birthday party) but the more he felt Edward and Bella's love for one another grow, and the more he felt my friendship with her strengthen, I know that the emotional side of it outweighed the physical part. Being around Bella and Edward and/or me made his emotions jump through the rough with happiness that he could easily set aside the physical discomfort. I'm proud of him for handling it as well as he did. Now it's not an issue so I guess I'm back to not having any human friends again, but I wouldn't change a minute of it.

* * *

**Did you like your wardrobe in the movie, "New Moon"? **

Oh hell no! I have no idea what Chris Weitz was thinking. I told the man time and time again. I told him I wouldn't be caught undead in those hideous clothes but he said it was what he liked. ARG! I'm glad we're getting a new director again. That Ashley Greene handled the horrid wardrobe fairly well. I like how she plays me. She makes me seem so awesome! Somehow she hides all my nerdy sides quite well.

* * *

**Are you ever Jealous? Why?**

Not really. I have everything I ever thought to want and more. I have nothing to be jealous about.

* * *

**Have you ever seen any of the males in your family naked besides Jasper? How did it happen?**

In visions I have seen every family member naked. I know they are going to have sex before they do many times. There is no side of my family members I haven't seen thanks to my visions. In person I have seen my siblings, we have a tendency to skinny dip when it's sunny out and we can't go to school. Carlisle and Esme usually step out of those times or they swim somewhere else nearby. (And yes, Carlisle and Esme have been known to skinny dip, but usually on their private hunts with just the two of them.)

* * *

**What do you regret missing out on the most due to being a Vampire?**

I hear naps are fun! I also hear that Bella used to be one hell of a cook. I guess back when she cooked, I wish I could have enjoyed some of it. Charlie seemed to enjoy the food a lot.

* * *

**What do you value the most about being a Vampire?**

Knowing that Jasper doesn't have to protect me quite the way he does. Also knowing I can protect my family, especially Jasper, if I have to.

* * *

**Who's the funniest in the family? Smartest? Sexiest? Silliest?**

Funniest family member is definitely Emmett. He's crazy. Silliest would apply to him as well.

Smartest is Carlisle. He's read so many books I think even his vampire brain has forgotten some of the titles.

Sexiest is of course that yummy piece of southern gentleman, Jasper. That man has the nicest butt and don't get me started on his hands. Oh yum! And that hair…

* * *

**Do you mind being so short?**

Absolutely not. I fit right into Jasper's body when he curls up around me. I can curl up right in his lap when we cuddle together after hunting. My hand fits perfectly inside of Jasper's and just seems to disappear. He engulfs me physically, the same way he engulfs me emotionally and spiritually. I think Jasper is perfect the way he is, and that makes me the perfect size to fit right into him. Jasper and I are like two weirdo legos!

* * *

**Reviews = love and love = lemons ;) If you have questions you would like to ask ANY of the Twilight Characters, please feel free to put them in a review or PM me. This is going to be a series now, I plan to get around to interviewing every member of the Cullen's if at all possible. (And any other characters y'all are interested in hearing from.) **


	3. Emmett

**I don't own Twilight, I just like trying to get to know them better by having my betas and readers interview the characters. **

**This is Emmett's installment of Interview with the Vampires. I hope you get to see the wonderful, loving, southern gentleman behind the goof ball we all know and love so much. **

**This is Twificfan's interview with Emmett. My other beta, Therealteacher, seconds the motion of each question. She thinks twificfan asked all the questions she ever would have thought to ask. Thank you twificfan for the questions and thank you therealteacher for making sure I typed Emmett's answers properly.

* * *

**

**Emmett, I would like to do an interview with you, do you have some time to chat?**

I always have time for women! ;)

* * *

**You always seem so happy, are there times when you don't feel that way?**

Yes, when Rose is mad at me and therefore is punishing me by cutting me off from sex, and then using her vibrator where I can hear the damn thing. That would be the one time I am truly a vampire, other than that I'm just a fun loving guy!

* * *

**After Carlisle changed you, did you ever check up on your family, if so what did you find?**

Of course I did, but I found at first that I wanted to eat my Mama and that just ain't right so I stayed away for a while. I went back and visited right before my mother died. She was all crazy and senile so I got to speak with her. I told her who I was and she totally believed me. I told her I loved her, and I always would. I assured her I was happy where I was. I'm not sure if she thought I was a ghost from heaven or what but she seemed to be more at peace after that. She was so close to the end that she didn't even notice my cold skin. I was with her when she died as my brothers and sisters were out of the house at the time. My father had already died. I like to believe that she knew the truth about me. The last memory I have of her alive was her telling me she loved me and her smiling at me. I stuck around for the funeral a few days later but didn't let my siblings see me.

* * *

**Are there any secrets about you that the Cullen family doesn't know? Please share them...**

Yea, they never knew where I disappeared to when I went to see my mother. No one ever knew until now.

* * *

**Are you close with Esme? What do you have in common?**

We are quite close. I'm not sure what we have in common per-say, but she loves us all like children. After I came back from Tennessee all those years ago, she just knew something wasn't right with me. Rose had missed me and just wanted to have sex. Of course I'm never adverse that sort of thing but Esme comforted me. She never pushed me to tell her why I was hurting; she just wanted me to feel better.

I guess I am fiercely protective of our family in a physical way, and she is fiercely protective of our family in an emotional and even spiritual way. I think between the two of us, nothing will ever hurt our family.

* * *

**Are you close with Carlisle? What do you have in common?**

I'm quite close to Carlisle. I like to believe I'm the reason he acts his age on occasion. He's 23, he needs to act like it every now and again. I love that he comes out on boys' only hunting trips with us sometimes, and when he does that he's willing to play with us. He's pretty cool when he lets himself just have fun. He's also a pretty smart guy. Anytime I'm in trouble with Rose, he has the best advice.

* * *

**Rosalie can have a very bitchy personality, does that bother you?**

Yes and no. I love Rose, every part of her. So in that way, it's just part of Rose, so no it doesn't bother me. However, she's usually a bitch because she's uptight and just needs to relax. Of course I'm Mr. Laidback so I really think she should just chill a little more often. My Rosie is a sweetheart when she wants to be, when she chills out, so I do kind of wish she would show that side of herself a little more often.

* * *

**What is she like when you are alone together?**

Rose is a very loving and kind person. She can be very demanding and very needy at times but really what woman isn't. Women deserve the undivided attention of their men, and Rose just happens to be one of the few women who know this. When we're together she is relaxed. She smiles a lot, which many people rarely see. She's very touchy feely when we're alone but then again I am too. I think the biggest thing that would shock people is that she is very giving. She knows I should treat her a certain way and she does not hesitate to bust my balls if I don't, but she also tends to be very focused on me and what will make me feel loved and pleasured.

* * *

**If you could have any job, what would it be?**

I would want a nature show, where I could tell people all about bears! ;)

* * *

**I know that Rosalie's biggest regret is that she can't have babies; does it bother you to not have children?**

Okay let's get something straight right now… as a general concept, Rose would like children. As an actual dream, not so much; she always says that I am enough of a handful, and if I was a father, that I would be spending most of my time helping them get into trouble.

* * *

**I know that you are close to everyone in your family, but besides Rosalie, who do you go to first when you need a friend?**

Jasper.

Edward is WAY too uptight. Carlisle gives me funny looks sometimes, because sometimes he wants me to act mature and I do not quite understand that concept. The rest of the family is women, and I _do_ love women but they usually don't understand my needs to be a crazy southern boy. Jasper totally understands that. Jasper has a penitent for getting into trouble with me, he's just better at getting out of it because of his power, and everyone says I corrupt him but I swear sometimes it's really the other way around. **

* * *

**

**Do you fantasize about having sex with anyone other than Rosalie?**

No. Trust me, Rosie is enough woman for me!

* * *

**I know that you are very protective of Rosalie, do any of your family members make you feel jealous?**

Never. I know that Edward's thing with Rose is due in part to Carlisle's intentions when Rose was changed, and that he knows the real Rose and wants her to show that side of her more. Carlisle is a good father figure to her. Esme is a good mother figure and never would have made her stay with her nasty, abusive human fiancé. Alice is like a sister to her. Jasper is like the second in command for protectiveness of this family, so I'm all about that.

* * *

**Are there any family members that you could imagine including in your sex play with Rosalie?**

Once again I think I have to say Jasper. He has that wicked power of his. Now he's only ever used it on me to get back at me, but let me tell you those are some powerful ass orgasms. Anything I can do to give Rosie that kind of pleasure, shit I'll put my pride aside to make that happen.

* * *

**You seem to be very comfortable sexually, were you that way as a human?**

Actually, I was changed in 1935. I had a fairly good sex drive but in that era sexuality was repressed even in young boys. I always found that I could calm myself and enjoy myself physically. My parents weren't too happy when they found out. I got a date with a switch and a bible when they caught me. I stopped doing it after that. When I became a vampire I realized that I was indestructible. I realized really quickly that a switch could do nothing to me. That took a lot of the fear out of me. I had all the time in the world to figure out what I believed outside of what my parents wanted me to believe. That took a lot of the guilt out of me. Carlisle keeps this REALLY old bible in his office. When Rose and I were courting I wasn't sure how I felt about sex. I knew I wanted to have it really bad but I had been repressing my desires and needs for so long. I went through that whole bible in Carlisle's office and figured out what I believed outside of what my parents had taught me. I realized that I wasn't hurting myself or others by touching myself. I also realized that having sex with my wife was not only something that _could_ be done, but something that _should_ be done. There is a book in Carlisle's fancy bible all about sex. I realized that Rose and I can enjoy the hell out of each other any time we want and as much as we want and there is nothing wrong with that. The Edwardian period ended the year before I was born. My parents and Edward's parents would have been kind of close in age, so we had similar upbringings. So picture Edward with a sense of sexual empowerment… that's me!

I guess in a way, that is why I am so hard on him and his uptight ways. I know he doesn't have to be that way and that he would enjoy it a lot if he let some of that go.

* * *

**What was your human family like? I'd really like to know as much as you are willing to share.**

Well my Daddy was your typical Tennessee father back in that time period. He liked the moonshine and thought the federal government was shit to tell him he couldn't drink. He taught me to hunt and gave me my sense of adventure. He was the only person who ever knew I was so into bears, he never did tell me to stay away from them though. I think he figured it was a given. I don't think it would have helped even if he had said something. He was an awesome man, and I still like to think I could be as good of a husband to Rose as he was to my mother.

My mother is probably what you would call a southern belle. She was a good woman who cared for all the men around her. She was a sweet, wonderful woman. I loved her dearly.

I had four brothers and two sisters. Our parents were southern dirt farmers, so we weren't really rich or anything. My family never owned a car until shortly before my mother died. We never had a lot of money but our parents always gave us the best they could. We all had truly happy and wonderful childhoods.

* * *

**If you could choose to go back to being human, would you?**

Ah, do you remember what that bear did to me?! If Rose hadn't saved my ass I would be DEAD NOW!!!!! I don't want to be human. Humans can't wrestle grizzly bears and win! I CAN!

* * *

**What do you miss the most about being human?**

Um…

* * *

**What do you like the most about being a vampire?**

Sparkling in the sun

Vampire Sex

Wrestling Grizzlies

Never having to sleep (therefore getting more vampire sex)

Getting to never have to grow up

Getting to mess with high school teachers over and over again

Getting to live all over the country

Traveling where ever we want to go, whenever we want to

Not having to cook

Not having to wear underwear if I don't want to

Getting to run really fast

Getting to be even stronger than I was before

Vampire nerve endings (once again back to that vampire sex)

Getting to run through the woods naked

Getting to run through the woods barefoot

Getting to do anything I want naked (it's not like I'm going to lose my pocket Mandingo or anything)

Only having to eat every other week

Getting to know Rose

Getting to call Rose mine

Getting to make love to Rose anytime I want (unless I'm in trouble…)

* * *

**What are you the most shy about?**

I talk a big game but I'm not much of an exhibitionist. I like the private nature of my time alone with Rose and I don't think I would like people peaking in on that. I know Alice sees it in visions and Edward sees it in my (and Rose's) thoughts but other than that I don't think I would want people physically there watching us. I like flexing my muscles and wearing tight shirts that make my arms look scary, but I'm really just a lover and those shirts are just a joke for me. I don't mind doing manual labor for Esme with no shirt one. I don't mind skinny dipping with my siblings, and therefore I don't mind them seeing me naked in that capacity. However when I'm alone with Rose, I don't really want people to see me naked. I kind of feel like that part of me naked is just for Rose. I don't want anyone seeing my winkie as it slides in out and of Rose.

* * *

**What are you the most proud of?**

My family

* * *

**If you had an afternoon totally to yourself, what would you choose to do?**

Spend it alone with Rose ;) Or if Rose is unavailable I would like to spend it locked in my bedroom thinking about my time alone with Rose. ;)

* * *

**You are a big beautiful sexy hunk of Vampire, Thank you!**

Are you coming on to me?

Just so you know I'm not adverse to that kind of thing! ;)

* * *

**Emmett loves attention, you know him. He needs reviews are he won't come visit you or answer your questions anytime soon. Also he's excited to answer more questions so please let me know if there is anything else you want to know. **


	4. Rosalie

**I don't own Twilight, I just attempt to understand its characters better through this macabre exercise. **

**This is Rose's interview. I hope that all of you get to see the warm, loving, generous person who lives deep down inside of Rosalie Hale McCarty Cullen. **

**A huge thanks to my wonderful beta, twificfan for the questions and looking over the answers. Thanks to both of my betas for just being awesome people, friends and slapping me around when my writing sucks!

* * *

**

**If you had a choice between being human again and staying with Emmett as a vampire, what would you choose?**

As much as I liked being human and as much as I lament my being turned without a choice, I would stay with Emmett. My human life, although it seemed perfect, was beginning to get ugly. My life would have been horrible and filled with much of the same abuse Esme faced as a human. I would never want that for myself. After spending time with Esme and hearing her story I have to believe that I have the much better life now.

* * *

**What was life like when it was just Carlisle, Esme, Edward and yourself?**

Lonely. Edward was mad at Carlisle because he wanted Edward and I to be mates. That was NEVER going to happen. Edward and I barely spoke, if at all. Esme tried to comfort me and tell me about her human life. At the time I refused to let her tell me anything. I was adamant that my life had been stolen from me.

* * *

**What is the most unusual degree that you've earned?**

Hospitality Management

I told everyone who asked that I wanted to open an inn in a deer reserve.

* * *

**Are you jealous of Alice's relationship with Bella?**

I used to be. I'm making up for the times I acted like a bitch and Bella and I are quickly becoming as close as she and Alice.

* * *

**What kind of relationship do you have with Esme?**

If it weren't for Esme I would never be okay with my life now. It is because of her willingness and courage to tell me about her human marriage, and my knowledge that I would have had a similar marriage that makes me so thankful for Emmett and so glad I have him and this life.

* * *

**Has Renesme filled the child raising void for you?**

Absolutely. She doesn't eat human food much but when she does she uses the restroom. When she was little I changed every one of her diapers because I thought it was so awesome. I quickly realized it was REALLY GROSS!!!!! I love that kid but some gross stuff came out of her. I love that I get to hold her in my lap. I like that I get to read to her and love on her. I love the look on her face when she looks up into my eyes and tells me she loves me. She's everything I dreamed of for so long and so very much more.

* * *

**Who are you closest to of the Denali clan?**

Tanya. We both share a penchant for harassing and abusing Edward.

* * *

**Who is the strongest partner in your marriage?**

Me.

Okay if I'm being honest Emmett is. He's the first person who loved me and held me and told me I was beautiful. As a human it was something people said _about_ me, but never _to_ me. He tells me every day how beautiful I am and why. If it weren't for Emmett I don't know where I would be right now. I'd probably be self-loathing and angry still. Basically I would be Edward.

* * *

**What is the best thing about your relationship with Alice?**

I like to be really pretty, and she likes to make the people around her really pretty. Plus she's really loyal. You know that anything you tell her is going to stay between you and her. She's got a huge heart and there is plenty of love in there for the whole world. She's content to just give all of it to all of the people around her though.

* * *

**Besides the ability to have children, what do you miss the most about being human?**

I've heard human women talk about how comforting and romantic it is to fall asleep listening to their man's heartbeat. I would like to experience that just once. Only with Emmett.

* * *

**What do you love the most about being a Vampire?**

Not having to sleep. I get to spend all night long in Emmett's arms, and have him in my bed. Yum!

* * *

**Does it bother you that you don't have a special ability?**

No, I've seen how it has been a burden for both Edward and Alice. Although I value their abilities, I'm glad I don't have that double edged sword to deal with myself.

* * *

**What ability do you wish that you could have?**

I wish I had the ability to see Emmett naked, even when he is fully clothed.

* * *

**We know that Emmett's favorite is bear, what is yours?**

Fawn

* * *

**Do you ever send thoughts for Edward to hear just to bother him? What bothers him the most?**

Hell yea! Any time I picture Emmett naked.

* * *

**What is your favorite car and why?**

Emmett's Jeep. I can't get enough of the look on his face when he drives it. I LOVE the way it feels behind me when he pushes me up against it and makes love to me right there. It seems to be an automotive representation of Emmett himself. Nothing turns me on like that Jeep. Funny thing is, nothing turns him on like seeing me lying under it, modifying it so he can get every last bit of horse power out of it.

* * *

**How did you learn to be such a good mechanic?**

When I was human everything I did was centered on being lady like. I needed a hobby and something to read about when I was first changed – something to pass the time when I didn't need to sleep anymore and Carlisle kept me away from humans – and mechanics seemed to be a good challenge and would definitely have had my mother scoffing.

* * *

**Emmett loves to brag about your sex life, is he a sensitive lover?**

He gives me everything I need. Always. If I need or want it hard, he's more than willing to oblige. If I think I need it hard because I'm really pissed off or something but he knows better, he'll make love to me slow and sensual. He always knows what I need, even when I don't.

* * *

**Who's sex drive is stronger, yours or Emmett's?**

It depends. On days ending in y, Emmett's sex drive is stronger. On days with an a in it, my sex drive it stronger. It's hard to quantify that kind of thing, especially with us.

* * *

**What one thing sexually drives Emmett the craziest?**

He likes when I let him bite, but only when I'm biting too.

* * *

**What do you and the rest of the family do that drives Emmett crazy in general?**

Any kind of activity with a "girls only" designation.

* * *

**What interests do you and Emmett have in common?**

Cars, sex, a lack of a desire to read anything that has less than 25% of either of the first two items, playing with Emmett's food, making fun of Edward, nudity, getting kicked out of class so we can sneak off and have sex in the woods, pretending to be asleep in class, thinking about having sex with each other while Edward is around, the list really could go on and on.

* * *

**Are you close to Jasper?**

Closer than I probably should be, if you know what I mean. ;)

* * *

**Did you learn the piano while human or after you were changed?**

I was human when I learned. It was all part of that lady like thing I mentioned before. It was expected from most of the girls in our class. I wasn't into it nearly as much as some of the other girls. I have a new appreciation for it now. It is something I can do that connects me to my humanity. It also calms me when Emmett isn't home. I started and learned the most while a human. I've perfected the talent since my change. So I guess the answer is both.

* * *

**Was it difficult for you to become acclimated to being around humans?**

I think it was difficult for all of us. Of course it's been hardest for Jasper. I really feel bad for him. That is one of those times he can't control his power. You can really feel his frustration and his anger and disappointment at himself. It really breaks my heart that he doesn't get to enjoy some things the way the rest of us do. It's harder for him because he had so much human blood when he was a newborn. I guess in the same respect you could say it was a little easier for me than for the others because I have _never_ tasted human blood.

* * *

**Is there anything that humans do, that makes you laugh?**

The way teenage boys think they know so much about sex. When Emmett gets into his banter and they join in. Emmett knows what he's talking about. He speaks from experience and practices what he preaches. Those boys are clueless. It's even funnier when Edward is around because he can confirm just how clueless they are.

* * *

**What do you like the most about Edward?**

That he treats Bella with respect. He loves her and worships her the way a woman deserves to be treated. He has never and would never objectify her. He would never want anyone to know this, but he's a pretty sensitive lover as well. He always gives her what she needs, even when he feels unsure of himself or uncomfortable with an act. He trusts her and finds he's actually good at it and enjoys it too. He treats her right, and there is nothing I like more than a man who treats his woman properly.

* * *

**Go ahead and click that review button, you know you want to. It's calling to you. You and I both know you can hear it. Go on, just click it and give in to that urge to tell me what you think. I'm sure you'll want to yell at me for some part of this or another. Maybe you really loved a part. Go ahead and let me know. Go on. It's okay. I'll wait right here while you do.**


	5. Carlisle

**I don't own Twilight, I just ask them weird questions.

* * *

**

**I am working on a new story. I'm really looking for a consistent beta who would be willing to work through the story with me. The chapters are a little long. So far all of them are right around 10k words each. This story is really important to me and is my best story yet. I'm working on chapter 7 now and only the first few chapters have been properly looked at. Chapters seem to come slowly so its not really like there would be 10k a week or anything, although right now there would be a little bit of catch up. I'm wanting to set up a schedule so that getting caught up wouldn't be stressful. Even setting up a team so no one had to do every chapter would be fine. Please let me know if you are interested. **

**Jo**

**

* * *

Why did you spend so much time with the Volturi? It seems that you respect them, but that appears to be the only reason you would ever be around them. (xMissCullenx)**

That is a good question. At the time, I was seeking out intellectual minds like my own that also shared my immortality. Unfortunately, even today, that is hard to find. Our lifestyle tends to help the intellectual side of each one of us to come through more than it does for the nomads. Most vampires are ruled by bloodlust. It's seen as their nature and something they can do nothing about. I disagree. I have always disagreed. The Volturi also disagree with that assessment. At least they used to. Some of the nomads do seem to have a strong intellectual side, but most do not. I stayed with them because I was craving intellectual stimulation that I could get nowhere else. Eventually I realized that my place was definitely not with the Volturi. I value life in all its forms, while the Volturi tend to look down upon the lives of humans. At the time I never dreamed I would have the life I have now. I'm glad I do.

* * *

**What were your thoughts when you found out Edward had saved Bella from the van? (ScorpionsAngel2009)**

Of course I was concerned for the children that may have been hurt. A van accident, whether intervened upon by a vampire or not, is a serious thing. I was first concerned when I heard there had been an accident and ambulances were coming. Secondly I was concerned for Edward, because I could tell his situation with Bella was hard for him. It was difficult for him to understand and accept. I feared he would flee again. I feared he might be hurt in some way, even though that is somewhat irrational for our kind. I wasn't thinking anything negative about the situation until Rosalie showed up and got upset in my office.

* * *

**What was your first impression of Bella? (ScorpionsAngel2009)**

The first thing I thought when I first saw her was that she looked lucid. As I began to talk to her I understood how this girl could seem so intriguing to Edward. She was rational, calming her father as he got upset about the accident. She was calm when most other patients would have been on the verge of hysterics. She also came off as being very loyal. I could tell she recognized me as Edward's father, as it were. She mentioned nothing of what had happened with Edward and the van. I also heard her tell him later, that she would tell no one of what had truly happened. It's hard to find a person so loyal to our kind. I was glad she seemed to care about him being okay in the same way others were worried about her. From the moment I met her I hoped he could find a way to at least be friends with her. I saw immediately how good Bella could be for him if he would just trust her.

* * *

**What was your reaction when Edward and Bella started dating? (ScorpionsAngel2009)**

I was proud of him for finally trusting himself to spend large sums of time with her. I was also happy that he found someone he could share his life with. Alice had already seen how it would turn out at that point, I _never_ bet against Alice.

* * *

**What was your reaction when Edward brought Bella home for the first time? (ScorpionsAngel2009)**

I knew from the hospital that she was very brave. That was reiterated to me when she first visited us. She willingly shook hands and hugged the various members of our family and didn't seem to mind. I couldn't help but admire her for being so calm.

* * *

**Were you tempted by any of the sexy female vamps while you lived with the Volturi? Any good stories to tell? (Twificfan)**

No. At the time intimacy with another vampire was the last thing on my mind. I was focused on my education and finding ways to actually practice medicine. I never even thought about attractive female vampires or having any kind of intimate relationship with another vampire until I met Esme. I have to say when I met her the first time, and then again when I changed her, she completely turned my world upside down. I had never felt that way about anyone before that time. I was definitely feeling my naivety of the subject when she was first changed. I had to learn to process, understand and handle the new emotions I was feeling when she first came to live with Edward and me.

* * *

**What's the most embarrassing story that you have to tell about "unwanted female attention"? (Twificfan)**

Well I got a rather interesting email from a woman just recently. It was rather unnerving. She seemed to have an innuendo for everything. Although I once treated a similar type of women, and she held nothing back. In fact she slapped my back side as I left the room once. After that I had another doctor treat her. I don't really mind women looking at me or thinking things, that can't be helped. I don't usually mind women saying things either. I'm used to it. I know these things happen because the change makes us look really appealing to our natural prey. I can honestly say I have never been hit on by a doe. It's when women cross the line and touch that I can't handle it. I belong to Esme. Period.

* * *

**What is the most difficult part of being the "head" of the family? (Twificfan)**

Having to lead all these souls that are approaching a hundred years old and then some who are perpetually the age they were at their change. While at the same time they still grow and mature in every way but physically. At times, none of us can fight off the characteristics of our physical age, but mentally and spiritually we all continue to mature and evolve. I am in the position where I have to guide Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper, Alice, Edward and now Bella through their late teen years into adulthood. Who else is going to do it? I can't rightfully just leave them hanging out there without at least offering advice. There are always times we get on each other's nerves as well. Those times are probably the most difficult because we are all essentially human souls that can annoy and sometimes hurt the ones we love most. I am the one who brought all of these souls together under this unconventional idea of vegetarianism. Therefore it is my job to guide us all through this as a family. The thought that we are simply a coven upsets me. By a dictionary definition I understand that we are a coven, but in reality we are so much more than that.

* * *

**Next interview is Bella. If you have any questions for Bella, let me know. **

**If you would like to talk about beta-ing for a future Cullen86ers story, please let me know. **

**Please review. Reviews = love and more chapters (in this care interviews).  
**


	6. Bella

**I don't own twilight, I just interview Stephanie Meyer's characters in an attempt to make ****my**** own depiction of them better and for my own amusement. The fact that the ten people who read this are enjoying it too is just a perk. **

**I need to thank ScorpionsAngel2009, xMissCullenx and TwiFicFan for their questions. **

**I also need to thank TwiFicFan for beta-ing this insanity. I love you, ya perv.**

**

* * *

**

**What were your thoughts when you saw Edward get out of the car in Port Angelas? **

Well I knew there was something weird about Edward before that point, actually, and him knowing where I was when I was so far off the beaten path added to his weirdness for me. Mostly I was just relieved. I can't really explain it, but somehow I knew that as long as he was there, nothing in the world or could hurt me.

* * *

**What did you think when you went to the Cullen's home for the first time? **

It was the complete opposite of what I was expecting. I was expecting it to be like what is portrayed in the movies, all dark and scary. The Cullen house is WAY different. It's open and bright. They let the sun in when it's shining and they don't bat an eye lash if the family gathered in the living room watching a movie on a cold winter's afternoon is sparkling from the winter sun. It's also really filled with love. You can feel it when you walk in the door, even when Jasper's NOT home. Even when everyone is fighting or Rose and Edward aren't talking, again, the love this family has for each other just permeates the house.

* * *

**I have always wondered if you were jealous of the waitress's reaction to Edward when he took you to dinner in Port Angelas.**

Of course. I wanted to punch her lights out or use my pepper spray on her. I was more struck by the fact that he didn't notice her at all. I think that is the one thing that calmed me. When I mentioned it he just shrugged and said she didn't matter. Of course at the time I really just thought that he was being nice. I didn't know he liked me the way I liked him.

* * *

**What were your first impressions of each of the Cullen's when you met them?**

I guess technically I met Edward first. I met him in biology on my first day at Forks High School. I like to call that his evil twin. I thought he was a pompous jerk to be quite honest. He was really quite rude to me. When I saw him again a week later he was much calmer and very sweet. I like to call that the real Edward. I think I fell in love with him the first time I saw him.

I met Carlisle not too long after at the hospital. He was really nice and I just noticed that all the strange traits Edward had, Carlisle also seemed to have. I knew he was his father instantly. He had a way of calming the whole room down just with his confidence. He walked in the room like he had everything under control and to look at him walk through the door it was hard not to trust him. He was very handsome too.

I get the impression you want to know about the day I visited the house though.

Esme was the first person I met for the first time at the house, as I had already met Carlisle at the hospital. She seemed to be the epitome of a mother. Even with her cold skin she gave warm hugs. I'm not sure how to explain that but it's true. She was very kind and I was mostly worried about his parents not liking me. I get the impression that if Esme likes someone, Carlisle will like them whether he wants to or not. Although, in all of the time I have known him I've had a hard time finding someone he just flat out didn't like.

Next I met Emmett. He's HUGE. That's probably the first thing that crossed my mind. He's just really big. He's also very playful so it was easy to relax around him after just a few minutes.

Along with Emmett I met Rose. She wasn't really happy about me being around. She was pretty cold, and I was really glad Edward stayed so close to me when I met her. She is probably the first vampire that truly scared me. It just seemed like she could do some damage.

I met Alice next. She freaked me out, just a little. It's not every day a golden eyed pixie runs up and gives you hugs and comments on your edible fragrance, although it's impossible not to love Alice. By the time she pulled back from that hug I knew I liked her. She was just really nice. Alice wants to be friends with everyone.

Meeting Jasper was rather odd actually. He could feel my nerves and calmed them instantly. I couldn't help but love him in that moment; just not the way I love Edward. He's probably the first person that really made me feel like a member of the family. I found out later it was because Edward's emotional climate changed when I came into his life and Jasper wanted me to stay. Either way, it was really nice to meet him. I am sorry my flowing blood made him uncomfortable though. After time alone with Edward, giving Jasper a proper hug was the first thing I did after I was changed.

* * *

**Bella, were you scared when you saw how huge Edward's cock was?**

Yes and no. The thing is big, to be sure. I had been warned by Alice, so I knew what to expect, to an extent. She told me that she knew personally that he was average size for a vampire. Not that that is anywhere near average for a human. Seriously. I think I was more nervous about doing something I had never done before and since Edward is good at everything, I was afraid he would be good at it and I would be bad at it. As far as the size thing, I was kind of wondering how it was all going to fit in there, but I love Edward and I trusted him to not hurt me. In the end I think the temperature difference helped out a lot. He definitely did everything in his power to make it a memorable night for good reasons. Edward really has this way of dazzling the fear and tension right out of me.

* * *

**Alright, that last question sure was something, wasn't it? Did it freak you out? I sure hope not. Let me know in reviews. Also, I am currently taking questions for our last three INDIVIDUAL interviews. We have Esme (who will be next), Edward (he'll be after Esme) and then Jasper. Ask Esme and Edward whatever you like. For Jasper, however, I want you to ask him all the things you ever wanted to know. Remember he has insight into the family the others don't have. (Edward has this too so feel free to abuse his powers for a moment) Also for Jasper, I think it's time we brought out his playfully, funny, endearing side that usually only comes out with Alice, so go ahead and ask him all kinds of weird questions. I hear he's great at giving advice too. Maybe he should start his own "Dear Jasper" column. Huh? **

**GO REVIEW AND GIVE ME SOME QUESTIONS!  
**


	7. Edward

**Stephanie Meyers owns Twilight, I just do everything in my power to make them blush! ;)**

**Huge thanks to ScorpionsAngel2009, therealteacer and TwificFan for submitting questions and keeping this little chunk of insanity going. **

**Thanks to TwificFan for betaing this insanity once again. I think she has enjoyed making Edward blush just as much as I did.

* * *

**

**Edward, can I interrupt your playing for just a few questions?**

Sure.

* * *

**What were the thoughts of the men you rescued Bella from in Port Angeles?**

The ring leader was a serial rapist and murder. He was wanted in several states. He had convinced his friends that Bella would be an easy target.

* * *

**What were their thoughts when they saw you coming toward them?**

Actually, their minds went blank. They were just really frightened so nothing coherent was coming out.

* * *

**Would you have killed them on the spot if they had, in fact, hurt Bella?**

If they had hurt her, and there was a way for me to save her, then no. I would have gotten Bella out of there and taken her to Carlisle or something. I probably would have ended up doing what I did anyway. If they had hurt her and she was already dead, then I can honestly say that yes, I would have.

* * *

**Did you go back and look for them later on? If so what did you do to them?**

Yes I did.

The entire time she was eating I was thinking about them, keeping tabs on them in my head. When we left Port Angeles obviously I couldn't hear them anymore. I dropped Bella at home and went immediately to Carlisle. I told him about what had happened and he almost instinctively knew what I was thinking. He got in the Volvo with me and we drove back and found them. He took his medical bag with him. I helped him find them, then he told me to go. I ran straight to Bella's house and climbed through her window. That was the first night I heard her say 'I love you' and it made me happy that I hadn't killed those men like I wanted to. I saw Carlisle when I returned home before Bella woke up and he turned on the news. The man had been arrested and was going to be charged with all of his crimes. It turns out Carlisle injected him with something that knocked them out. He put him behind a police station and called in an anonymous tip. Right now he rotting in jail and if he ever gets out, he will have to deal with me. However, he has a life sentence so I doubt it will happen.

* * *

**What was it like having Bella as a human and then as a vampire?**

Well, she's a lot less breakable now. I really enjoy that. As I human I got so watch her sleep and I have to admit that I do miss that. I liked her unguarded moments where I could hear what she was thinking, even though my power didn't work on her. I do get a glimpse inside now, when she allows it, since we discovered that side of her power. She's still working on the control of keeping it open when we are making love or spending time alone together. Right now she just has to concentrate so hard to make it work. It's getting better though. I think I definitely appreciate Bella more, having almost lost her. The twenty-four hours I thought she was dead were the worst and longest of my life. Having her as a vampire now, where I know very few things can actually hurt her, does make me feel a little better, but I will always want to protect her.

* * *

**What is the most embarrassing thought that you ever heard being thought about you?**

I've been mentally undressed by many women, sadly some who are physically much older than me. I have to say that is the most embarrassing thing I have ever heard. Thoughts I can hear about myself are one thing, that can't really be helped. Thinking about touching me is slightly more uncomfortable, but thinking about undressing me and then seeing me naked, it just creeps me out every time. Talk about a woody killer.

* * *

**Have you ever been tempted to embarrass the thinker? If you did, what happened?**

Oh yeah. It was Jessica Stanley. I hate how she treated Bella and really wanted a good way to get her to either back off or be nicer to Bella. I was going to tell her something like I was bigger than she was picturing me and there was no way she could handle me or something like that, but Alice saw my plan and told Bella. Bella got upset and told me not to. She said there would be "very unpleasant consequences" if I did, so I didn't.

* * *

**Esme was pretty close in age to you when she was turned, did you resent her for interfering with your relationship with Carlisle? Did you have romantic feelings for her in the beginning?**

No. I could hear in Carlisle's thoughts that he needed more companionship than he could get from another man and as soon as he recognized her, I knew how important she was to him. I was happy for him, in my own way. I never had romantic feelings for her. I was changed at such a young age and was having a hard time with my life as it was then. Esme bought me my first piano and encouraged me to play. I needed Esme just as much as Carlisle did. However, where Carlisle needed a wife and a mate, I needed a mother.

* * *

**We haven't heard very much about your feelings about becoming a husband and father. After being alone and celibate for so many decades, what is it like to care for a little girl and a grown woman in such intimate ways?**

Well, being with Bella is mind blowing. Everyone says ten years is about it and then things settle down, but we're getting close to that milestone now, and it's not cooling off at all. I think I am a special case, since I went without for so long. Esme and Carlisle don't really count because they were both so shy. It took them twenty years just to pull each other out of their shells. For Bella and I, we were so ready for the physical side of our relationship and with all the buildup, there is _no way_ it wasn't going to be good. Bella was worried about it at one point, but that didn't happen at all. I think the century of celibacy just made my intimacy with Bella that much better.

Being a father is the most fulfilling thing I have ever done. I think in some ways Carlisle and Jasper are a little jealous of me. Jasper doesn't have anyone he plays dad to, but Carlisle definitely does. I'm the only one with a biological child that I've cared for from birth. It was really nerve wracking at first, because I didn't know what would happen to Bella. I was scared for her. As soon as I could hear Nessie's thoughts and knew she understood when I told her she needed to be careful with Mama, it was impossible not to love her. As soon as she looked at me, with Bella's eyes, that was it. I just love her so much. As she's gotten older she's learned that Bella and I really need our time alone. Unfortunately this understanding means that she is beginning to have similar feelings for Jacob, and I'm just not sure I can handle that. I don't care how many millennia old she gets, she's always my little girl.

* * *

**When you left Bella in the woods, did you stay until you knew that she was going to be okay?**

No. I regret that, after hearing about and seeing in Jacob's thoughts what happened to her after I left. If I had stayed to make sure she was okay, I never would have left at all. I was determined to protect her, and at the time I was 100% positive that leaving was the way to do that. I did not stay for her the way I always told her I would and I did not stay to make sure she got home safely that night. I regret both of those decisions every day. Bella is still trying to get me to forgive myself for that.

* * *

**Did you "sexually relieve yourself" during all of those years before Bella? Have you had to do it since meeting her?**

Yes. Blame Jasper.

Yes, but not since we were married. Trust me, she needs me as much as I need her. There is no need for it now.

* * *

**Have you indulged in watching porn?**

Only with Bella and only because she wanted to try it.

* * *

**What is the most uncomfortable thing you have ever witnessed happening sexually with your siblings or parents?**

Rose and Emmett have done some freaky stuff. I'd prefer not to think about it any further.

* * *

**When Carlisle first turned you and you were a newborn, did you ever suspect that he had sexual intentions toward you?**

No. Carlisle loves Esme. Until she came along, he didn't really have sexual thoughts. **

* * *

****Of the four Cullen men, who has the largest peen? **

In the change everything kind of evens out and becomes proportional. It gets a little thicker if I remember from myself correctly, but to be honest I wasn't really worried about getting a bigger, thicker dick at that point in my life. When I was afraid of hurting Bella, part of me – a very small part – wished I was just a little smaller. With this information in mind, logically, Emmett is bigger than Jasper, Carlisle and I. The three of us are about the same size so I guess to answer this question further I would need a tape measure, and that's just not happening.

* * *

**Have the girls ever played tricks on the boys? The boys on the girls? Tell us what they were.**

There are so many pranks we have pulled on each other, it's hard to elaborate on them. **

* * *

****If your skin is so hard, how is it possible for you to ever not have a woody?**

Skin being hard and an appendage being hard are two totally different things. See, my skin is impenetrable, meaning it can't be broken. It just feels hard to a human and animals because their minds cannot process something as soft as their skin, but more durable. In order to get an erection venom has to flow into my corpora cavernosa, the same musculature found in a human penis, and then I get hard. I'm hard until the venom flows out again after I've had an orgasm. Whereas humans have blood flow into their penises, vampires have venom. Also, human men have to wait a certain amount of time after an orgasm before their blood can flow into their corpora cavernosa enough to get another erection. As a vampire, you don't have this problem.

* * *

**Bella said that she could hear you when she participated in risky behavior. Do you think that you were in some way aware of what she was doing and actually broadcasting your thoughts to her, as in using a special power that you didn't realize that you had?**

No. I hear people's thoughts. Jasper's the one in the projecting business and I doubt he had anything to do with it either. I think she was just trying to feel loved and protected the way I should have been, but at the time wasn't. Don't get me wrong, I still loved her more than I have words for, but I certainly wasn't protecting her. **

* * *

****When you were lonely and sexually frustrated, did you have sexual fantasies about any of your family members? Who?**

Yes. My wife, Bella.

Before she came along, no. If I needed to "relieve myself" it was entirely physical and my mind was usually rather blank. I just wanted it to be over with as fast as possible. It wasn't about pleasure at all. It was more about getting my pants to fit comfortably again.

* * *

**You spent a lot of time in Charlie's house at night, did he ever sneak any women in and/or did you hear any disturbing sexual fantasies from his thoughts/dreams? **

No, he never snuck women in. What I got from his thoughts was that he was still secretly in love with Rene. When he finally moved on and let Mrs. Clearwater into his life, we were all very happy for him and I was very stunned.

As far as fantasies go, nothing really disturbing. I saw the night Bella was conceived on multiple occasions in Charlie's dreams, but given how much I love Bella, there was nothing I saw in that dream that was anything but beautiful.

* * *

**What exotic, weird place would you like to have sex with Bella?**

There are so many places it's hard to say. I'd love to take her some place we shouldn't be, like trespassing. I think that would make it feel risky. I'd like to take her to the Eiffel Tower after it closes and make love to her on every single floor. The Louvre would be a great choice. The Coliseum would be another wonderful idea. Jasper has inadvertently let me in on a trip he and Alice took there once. There are all kinds of beautiful monuments and landmarks in the world that would make a beautiful backdrop to our love making. We'd be here for a while if I listed everything.

* * *

**Do you wish that Bella would have had twins? A boy and a girl? How would you think your life would be different having a son?**

Twins, no. Physically, Bella almost died with just Nessie so adding another to that mix, most definitely not.

Having a boy, I don't know. I love Nessie and having a beautiful little girl just makes my heart melt. As soon as I was on board with the whole pregnancy thing, really I just wanted our child to look as much like Bella as possible. I think Nessie definitely hits that mark and I wouldn't trade her for the world. I'm not sure how Bella would look as a little boy, but I'm thinking Nessie was the best choice. I love her and would never replace her.

If we had had a boy as opposed to a girl, I think it would end up like Emmett. Not because it would look like him or anything, it would probably look more like me than Bella (and we already determined I didn't want that) but Emmett would rough house with him and teach him to pull pranks. It would be like raising the both of them and I already feel bad for Emmett's mother as it is. I don't want to be Emmett's father.

* * *

**If you could bring anyone into sex between you and Bella, who would it be and why?**

Wow, that's hard to say. Anyone? Um, I guess I would have to say Jasper. He has that wicked power. That stupid power of his has caused me more problems in the past 100 years that I've known him than anything else. I guess I could view this as him paying me back. I'm not sure Bella would like that. I'd have to ask. Before I got married Emmett, Jasper, Carlisle and I all had this boys only hunting trip and of course they all wanted to put their two cents in about what was going to happen between Bella and me soon enough. Emmett told me he would bring Jasper into their bed if he brought anyone in and he explained why. It made perfect scents to me, so I'm just going to go with his answer. I don't want Emmett there for sure, and Carlisle, well he's my father so that would be just gross. That really just leaves Jasper. I wouldn't bring my mother or any of my sisters in because I would still want Bella to feel that all of my attention and love was for her in those moments.

* * *

**What BDSM scene would you like to play out with Bella? **

I don't know about BDSM. I would definitely not be in charge on those occasions. I have no desire to dominate over Bella in any way. Actually, that's something of a woody killer for me. Not going to happen. I'm not sure either of us would be into handcuffs and beating on each other, but there have been times Bella has told me exactly what to do to please her and told me not to move without her permission, that sort of thing. She's told me there would be punishment if I failed her on those occasions but I've never been willing to sacrifice her pleasure to see what those punishments might be. I like how those moments bring Bella out of her shell though. To see her in total control and feeling good about herself while doing it really makes me happy. I wish she could show that side of herself to everyone, just in a non-sexual way.

* * *

**Because you hear the thoughts of your family all the time, whenever they think about sex, sexual positions, romantic getaways, etc, do you ever borrow, steal and/or elaborate on their thoughts in order to make Bella happy?**

I can't say that I borrow or steal them. Saying I elaborate on them would be inaccurate as well. I think the best way to put it, is that they inspire me. Often times with Rose or Emmett the location totally changes and a lot of the entire scene changes but it does put my mind in a creative frame for that kind of activity. Jasper's thoughts on their trip to the Coliseum has definitely made me want to take Bella there, but I think my fantasy of what might transpire there is totally different than what happened between them. Carlisle has a tendency to worship Esme, much the same way that I hope I will always worship Bella, so it's more likely that I would keep certain elements of his fantasies. Jasper does a lot of the worship too, but we have different styles so with his ideas I usually find an alternate option I like or think Bella would like better. Although I do have to admit, Emmett is currently planning a weekend away for him and Rose and he's planning to worship her in a very nice way. I never thought I would say this, but the big guy seems to have some good ideas for this one. I may have to let some of them inspire me for a future trip with my Bella.

* * *

**Now, we will be interviewing Esme. If you haven't submitted questions for Esme and would like to, or if you already did but thought of some others please put them in your review or send me a pm so I can get those included. Please keep in mind that some of the questions you may have for any character may be better placed in a group setting. After I get everyone's individual interviews done, we will have a boys only, girls only and family interview. I am also thinking about doing an interview with each couple. So keep that in mind as you think up questions. **

**Some of the questions in this interview were answered in the partial draft of Midnight Sun by Stephanie Meyer. This is available on Stephanie Meyer's website. You can google it! ;) If you google Midnight Sun it will come up with the link she offered for download. I also have a copy on my computer as do my betas so feel free to email any of us and we can work out getting you that attachment, it's a truly wonderful look into the mind of Edward Cullen.**

**Now that I've gotten all that craziness out of the way, hit review, you know you want to! **


	8. Esme

**I don't own twilight. I'm just trying to get a better understanding of all the characters to aid in the writing process. I hope get some kind of entertainment out of it in the end. **

**I have been doing some real interviews in real life and so I've got a better handle on the process which is inevitably bleeding into this, so the interviews should start coming a little smoother and for flowing. They will most likely also become a little longer by default. **

**Thanks to TheRealTeacher for betaing this chapter for me.

* * *

**

**Esme, can I have a few minutes to ask you a few things?**

Of course, dear.

* * *

**What was your first impression of Bella?**

She was very sweet. I was glad Edward finally found a mate. I was worried he would be alone forever and I didn't want that for him. He's just too loving a soul to be alone. She's just as loving and I could see that in her, the moment I met her. I was just so happy for them both.

* * *

**Did you ever think that when Edward chose a mate he would choose a human  
girl?**

I feared he wouldn't ever find a mate. For us it's not really choice so I can't say that he even chose. It just happens and I was happy about it. Her status as a human made no difference to me. I could see the change in him immediately. I knew the issue of her being human would be worked out in the end. Alice saw it so there was no reason to doubt it. I was human when Carlisle first found me. Emmett was human when Rose found him. Carlisle and I have been together a long time, as have Rose and Emmett. The humanity issue got worked out in those situations and it got worked out in this one as well.

* * *

**What were your thoughts on Edward choosing to leave Bella after her 18****th**** birthday party?**

I didn't want him to go. I didn't want us to leave either. I know he thought it was for the best, but I also knew how close they were. I couldn't imagine anything good coming from their separation. Jasper had volunteered to go up to Denali or some other place remote for a while to cool off. Alice would have, of course, gone with him. I didn't want any of my children to go, but Jasper's absence, as well as Alice's, would have been maybe a month. Edward, on the other hand, was talking about forever, and I couldn't see that working at all. I would have preferred Jasper's plan over Edward's any day. Alice would have called home every day she could have and they would have returned soon enough.

* * *

**What were your thoughts toward Jasper after Bella's 18****th**** Birthday party?**

Jasper finally came back to the house around dawn. Alice had to drag him home. His power was entirely out of control so his feelings of remorse, regret, self-hatred, and weakness were on full display for the whole family. There was no way to blame him for what happened, it was an accident. Really it was a perfect storm of events that just culminated in Jasper losing it. He lost it first. I can't say someone else wouldn't have lost it if he hadn't. We're vampires and there was flowing blood in the room. Before he returned I just wanted him to come home. I was worried he would get depressed and angry with himself. Of course he was going to be anyway, but I always feel better when I know where the children are and I can support them. He needed love at that point and we all knew it but him.

* * *

**What were your thoughts and feelings when Bella was believed to be dead?**

I would never tell Carlisle this, but I know Edward just a little too much. I was thinking of what was going to happen to our family when he was gone. I knew he would find some way, some_one _to kill him and I was torn apart by thinking of the loss of my first son. Carlisle always believes there is hope, and usually I do too, but to be honest, Edward without Bella meant all of Edward's hope was gone, and so I knew what he would do. In my head I had already lost two of my children. I couldn't bare it.

* * *

**What did you feel toward Jacob Black when he was steadily trying to take  
Bella away from Edward and the Cullen family?**

I understand he had a crush. I could see the strain it was putting on both of my children (Bella and Edward) when he was trying so hard to get between them. I don't feel ill toward him because I have a feeling it was just destiny keeping him close so that he could find Nessie. What those two have is wonderful and amazing too. He's my grandson-in-law now, or will be soon enough. I can't not like him. He treats my granddaughter like a princess and he's actually getting along with Edward now. At the time it was hard, but I never harbored any ill feelings toward him. It was hard to see them all so unhappy between the three of them. I never had any doubt it would be Edward and Bella in the end and I knew Jake would find someone to imprint on one day. I never imagined it would be my granddaughter, then again I never imagined having a granddaughter so there is that too.

* * *

**Since you mentioned it, what is it like being a grandmother and having someone in your home who actually grows and changes?**

It's amazing. She's a little ball of energy. I loved getting to hold her when she was a baby. I love getting to read with her or garden with her. She really likes to dig in the mud. It was wonderful to watch her discover her unique existence and all the amazing things about herself. Watching her realize she couldn't break that rock and then Bella did was funny. She later figured out that if she threw them really hard at another rock, one of the two rocks would shatter. It got her interested in geology to figure out which one would break and why. She's really smart like her father and a loving soul like her mother. She's the perfect little hybrid of them. She's not so little anymore though.

* * *

**Esme, doesn't it ever feel weird that you aren't really much older than your children, younger than some actually but they regard you as their mother?**

Not really. It's not weird at all. I think it's just the role I fell into because it's just my nature and I'm also married and mated to Carlisle, so it just happened that way. I think everyone involved just accepts it. I had a mother that wanted me to stay in a bad relationship. My need for a mother has passed, for the most part. Sometimes I feel like I need one and Rose, Alice or Bella can usually fill that need for me. However, most of the children were changed younger. All of the children are younger than me physically so they are all still at a stage where they need a mother sometimes. I love that I can give that to them.

* * *

**Does Carlisle ever come home from a shift at the hospital smelling like blood? What do you do when that happens?**

Not really. He makes sure he showers before he comes home. He did on occasion before Jasper and he would just run to the shower right away when he got home. He tried not to for everyone's comfort though. He never wanted to make anyone uncomfortable just because it didn't bother him. After Alice and Jasper came along he's just been more diligent about it. Even if he doesn't smell blood on himself he showers before he leaves the hospital. We're all very proud of Jasper for the restraint and progress he has shown, but we certainly don't want to push him too far or make things any harder for him.

* * *

**This question was sent in via e-mail. If all of the Cullen children were in a burning building and you could only save one, which one would it be? In other words, who is your favorite?**

Emmett sent that in didn't he?

* * *

**Does Emmett do this kind of thing often?**

He certainly always wants to be the favorite. He'll suck up like nobody's business. I think he just wants everyone to love him.

* * *

**Since we've talked about Emmett, what can you tell me about each of your children that makes them unique and lovable?**

I guess I good place to start with that would be Edward, since he was first. Edward is kind and loving and warm. He's a good father and husband. He's a very smart and internal soul. Sometimes it's hard to understand him because he's so deep inside his own head. It's taken a lot to bring him out of his shell – namely Bella and Nessie.

Next would be Rose. She is a strong woman. She's dealt with so much and come out a good person in the end. I'm really glad she's gotten a happy ending. I have a bit of a special bond with her because of her final human moments and my human marriage. We both, once, knew really abusive and bad men, but now have amazing and wonderful husbands. She is a loyal and protective soul.

Emmett came along next and he is just the life of our home. Well, he was until Nessie came along. They share that title now. Emmett can make you laugh no matter how much you don't want to. He's very laidback and it's hard not to just relax when you're around him. He is a very soothing kind of soul to have around. He brings joy into everyday situations. I love that no matter how mundane things get, with the children having to go to school over and over, he still has a smile on his face. He's just such a happy soul. Like I said, he wants to be loved. I know he was loved as a human. I have no idea what that boy's problem is. He wants attention and lots of it.

Let's see, then we have Alice and Jasper. When I think of those two, sometimes it's easy to think of them as one entity. Alice is small and bouncy and lively. She's a more serious version of Emmett in that way. She's always got a smile on her face too. She loves to shop and make everyone around her feel good. She really just wants to love everyone and have everyone love her. She loves to do good things and help people whenever she can. I could see her being a very good social worker or something. She has a wonderful outlook and such a cheery disposition. She'd probably be the best dressed social worker in history. She is an amazingly strong and gentle soul. She can come off as crazy at times, but truly she's harmless. Jasper is our little history buff, mostly because he lived through a major part of our history and knew people who fought for the freedom of America and the freedom of Texas. He has war and fighting in his blood, but you can tell that he's a true lover. He's very proud and brooding. He's very strong willed and loving. He's truly compassionate. I think all of the fighting of his past has done that to him. I also think it was something that was always in him to so extent, though. You can't teach love and compassion like he has. He is a strong willed and passionate soul. These two really rescued our little family here, mostly because of the fact that they both have special abilities, so Edward finally had someone who could truly relate to him. Alice was his best friend for a really long time.

Many, many years later came Bella. She is the best thing that happened to Edward. I had never seen him smile quite like that before she came along. She's loyal and kind. She loves passionately and truly cares about others. She could probably make a good social worker too. Her and Alice should go into business together. She balances Edward perfectly and brings so much love to everyone in the family. It takes a very special kind of soul to forgive someone who almost kills you, but Bella did it without a second thought. That is just amazing to me. She truly is an amazing soul.

Last but certainly not least is Nessie. She is our little miracle. She was the impossible dream and just happened. She is like her mother in that she is loving, loyal and kind, but also like her father in that she is very internal and creative. I cannot wait to see what is going to become of that girl. She is a wonderfully vibrant soul that brings so much hope to our home and our family.

* * *

**Well, I guess the only person we haven't talked about directly is Carlisle.**

Carlisle is an amazing man and husband. He is our true leader and I still can't wrap my mind around how much he loves me sometimes. I was lucky to find him, and then find him again.

* * *

**How do you feel about women hitting on him at the hospital?**

Well, to be honest, I have a protective streak in me that wants to tell those women to keep their hands off of my man. On the other, more rational hand I also know that Carlisle only has eyes for me and nothing those women could say or do will ever change that.

* * *

**Why do you think it took so long for you and Carlisle to draw each other out of your shells and become intimate?**

Well, I know for my part I was afraid. I had only ever known pain and anger when it came to my interaction with a husband. For his part, just imagine not doing something for three hundred years and then all of a sudden being faced with doing it? We both grew up in very repressed times and so we were both rather shy. It was truly amazing when we finally got there though. I certainly don't regret any step of the journey I've had with him.

* * *

**You seem like such a lady. Has there ever been a time when you've turned yourself over to your more animalistic nature, that you would be willing to share with us?**

Well, thank you. I guess the only times that come to mind are times I am alone with Carlisle. Let's just leave it at that.

* * *

**Okay. As a whole, how would you describe your family?**

Odd. Strange. Weird. Different. Even in within the vampire world, which is already quite different, we are unique. There really is only one other "family" to be found in the vampire world and that is the Danali's. Our family has been through a lot of ups and downs in our time, but I believe that through it all we have been a family. In our world, that is nearly impossible to find.

* * *

**That seems like the perfect place to wrap things up for now. Thank you for answering all of our weird questions. You're really just a fascinating group.**

Not a problem dear. I hear you got Edward a little worked up. We're still getting a good laugh out of the look on his face when he came home that day.

* * *

**We'll be doing Jasper next so if you have any more questions for him, send them in ASAP as I'm almost done with the interview as it stands now. **

**After Jasper we'll be moving on to group interviews so start getting your questions ready for all the Cullen Men and all the Cullen women. After that we'll move into couple's interviews. There is also a possibility that we could revisit individual interviews after the group and couples - so if you have any questions specifically for one person or another, please feel free to email me with those. I am compiling a database of questions and who they are for so make sure you specify that.**

**Alright, now go review. Pretty please, with sugar and Cullen men on top!  
**


	9. Jasper

**I do not own Twilight. I just mess with Stephanie Meyer's characters and have a little fun with them before sending them home... where they inevitably need therapy. For me, as a huge history buff, Jasper is really my favorite fan. The Civil War and post-colonial america is an era of particular interest for me so Jasper was the interview I was most excited and most nervous about doing. I've done a lot studying to get this as close to realistic as possible - including a trip through the "Dictionary of Civil War Lingo." I hope y'all enjoy this as much as I enjoyed putting all the time and effort into it.**

**This was beta'd by the one and only TheRealTeacher. She's a great beta and an even greater friend. **

**

* * *

**

**Hey Jasper, have you fed recently?**

Uh, yeah.

* * *

**Do you have some time for a few questions?**

Sure.

* * *

**What is the funniest thing you have ever done with your powers?**

Wow. It's hard to pick just one thing. I've made Emmett come really hard while watching a chick flick with Rose, after he gave my cell phone number to some girls at school who had a crush on me. He told them that I was thinking of dumping Alice and I was about to be on the rebound. Next thing I know I can't get my cell phone to stop ringing, so I had to get him back. Rose looked at him _so_ funny after that.

I've made Alice come in class while we were holding hands but that's not really funny.

I've made Edward flirt with girls in the lunch room. That was a while back and he threatened Alice's life after that so I never did it again. I vote for that one. I think making Edward flirt with all those girls was the funniest. The look on his face, while he wanted to just shut up and walk away but he kept saying all kinds of flattering, flirting things just made me lose it. I was laughing so hard Alice was afraid I was going to break the table. Then again, she was laughing too. I think that's the first time I ever made Rose laugh. We hadn't been with the Cullen's but a decade max at that point and I finally got her to crack a smile. That's definitely the funniest.

* * *

**In the story y'all tell everyone, you and Rose are twins. How do you feel about that? What kind of relationship do you have with Rose? Do you have a special bond with her because of the cover story?**

I guess it's just whatever we have to do to go unnoticed. It doesn't really faze me. After I made her laugh that one time, well, we've been friends. Rose is really personal and doesn't let people in easily. It took almost a decade to get her to accept me. Now, I think she sees it as something that makes her special. In this whole story of who we "are", we all have siblings and such, but only she has a twin (accept me, of course). It's a really easy, really good way for her to get to keep her human name and to explain away the two blonds.

Okay, don't tell anyone I told you this, especially Rose or she'll kill me. We have a good time, together, laughing at the idiots that will scrunch up their faces and squint their eyes and then come out with something like, "Yeah, I can see that you two are most definitely related. You two look so much alike." I swear, people don't really see things when they look. It's so funny. I'm not much into cars but I can appreciate a job well done, so we'll make fun of these morons while she's working on the cars and I'll just kind of sit back and enjoy the peace and quiet. She doesn't feel the need to always have to talk while we're sitting out there so she can do her thing and I can read a book or something and we'll just laugh at stupid people as we think of them. It's great.

* * *

**We've heard from Emmett – of course – and Esme that Rose isn't as cold and mean as she comes off sometimes. Would you agree with this assessment? How is she **_**not**_** like that in reality?**

Like I said, it takes a lot for her to let people in. Trust me, I can understand that. Once you're in with Rose, you're in. She's a great person and is generally in a happy mood, which is good for me.

* * *

**Some people view you as being on the outside of the family, just kind of floating around the edges because of Alice's desire to be there. Is this true?**

Of course not.

* * *

**Then what **_**is**_** true?**

I'm just not as rambunctious as Emmett and I'm not into all the theatrics that Edward is. In the end, that just kind of leaves me sitting there just existing sometimes. I'm okay with that. As long as I have Alice I'm a happy camper. However, I have learned through the years from Alice and Esme and Carlisle and even Bella – well everyone in our family, really – that I am as important to them as they are to me. I would do anything to protect them. They are my family, plain and simple. I don't jump into the middle of everything because that's just not who I am. I'm much more laid back and reserved. Believe it or not, I'm really a rather calm person. Just like anyone else, I have things that just make me lose my mind for a minute or two.

* * *

**Can you describe your power for us? How do you experience it? What was it like that first time you realized you had a power?**

I can influence the emotions of others. I can make them feel how I want them to. Also other people's emotions affect me in ways they don't affect others. If someone is feeling any extreme emotion, I can't help but feel that way too. I've learned to turn it off for your typical everyday emotions, but anytime someone around me is really happy, excited, sad, distressed, upset, etc., so am I.

I guess I just feel an emotion I have absolutely no reason to be feeling. The best example would have been before Edward met Bella, I would be with Alice (so obviously I was very happy) and then all of a sudden I was feeling very self-deprecating and brooding. I can usually tell who the emotion is coming from, if I'm familiar with the person. Each person just has a certain feel about them that I can pick up on. I can usually identify that the emotion isn't mine and concentrate on what I was feeling or would rather feel and make it happen. It's harder when I haven't feed. Sometimes I wonder if my ability doesn't use more energy, and thus make me need to feed more often. At least that would explain my weakness just a little. I know it is harder to manipulate other's emotions when I'm thirsty. When I manipulate the emotions around me, it's kind of like picking out an emotion and letting it fill my whole body, then I just kind of push it out into the space around me. Whoever is in that space starts feeling the way I want them too. If I'm touching someone or have some physical connection, it's more like filling their body up with the emotion as I fill up my own.

The first time I realized I had a power, it was actually on accident. I was walking with Maria, who was explaining about my new life and I wasn't sure how I felt about it. I started to fear her just a little for some reason and she suddenly started looking around suspiciously and acting like she was afraid too. When she got nervous I went into my typical "protect women" role, which made me pull up all my bravery. Then out of nowhere she was fine and acting like nothing was wrong and she was going to take care of everything. Then I got confused and so did she. Eventually I figured out I was causing her emotions to fluctuate. Unfortunately, that development made Maria just a little too happy. It's the only reason she kept me around as long as she did.

* * *

**Do you ever control people's emotions just for the fun of it? If so, how? Who's emotions are the most fun to control?**

Of course.

Emmett, mostly. Edward can be fun to mess with. Carlisle, on a rare occasion. We're just talking about doing it for my personal amusement right? I don't ever mess with Rose's emotions without prior consent. Alice, I don't like messing with her emotions for amusement, she's naturally happy and I don't want to mess with that. If I mess with Alice's emotions for my amusement it's usually for her pleasure in the end.

Emmett's are the most fun to mess with. He's larger than life in more ways than just physically. Once he gets anywhere emotionally, he's all in. So if I make him cry, he won't just sob uncontrollably, he'll all out lose his mind in sadness and tears he can't shed. That's pretty funny to watch. Or when he starts yawning in class just to seem human, I can throw him into a near coma with hardly any effort on my part, whatsoever. Usually, the best time to mess with the oaf is to wait until he's trying to be just a little cocky and send him into a tail spin. It's amazing what can come out of that boy's mouth when he's being tempted.

* * *

**Sher wants to know if you really suffer from lack of control over your blood lust or are you just faking everyone out? You are a good military strategist after all. Maybe it's all part of your plan to keep us guessing.**

No.

Thank you for thinking I am a good strategist, but no. I would never put Alice though that intentionally.

* * *

**Esme said you were a history buff. We'd like to know some things about history we couldn't find in our text books. What kind of underwear did you wear back in your confederate days?**

Well, I guess the closest thing I could compare it to would be long johns or long underwear. That was the only cotton we wore, because really, who wants wool rubbin' against your stuff? So we had basically a second pair of pants that had a button fly so it was really easy to get in and out of 'em. In the winter if you were in a cold climate you might have a pair of flannel under things, but we're talking Galveston, Houston, and southern Texas so I didn't really have a need for those.

* * *

**How does that affect your choice of underwear now?**

I like boxers and so does Alice.

* * *

**It's been mentioned that saddles now are a lot more comfortable than what you used to ride in when you were in the Army. Can you tell us how you protected your – er – Whitlock family jewels way back when?**

Well – ha – actually, you pretty much didn't. You started riding saddles like that as a kid. I guess it just built up a resistance. Although, I have to say, once you became an officer you got a nice pig skin pad for your seat portion which definitely made for a smoother ride. Too bad I didn't really get to use that for very long. I hope some fresh fish caught hold of that thing once I was done with it. Either way, that padded seat didn't make it half as comfortable as the saddles they have today. I heard that guy off that stupid little house on the prairie show whining about saddle sores. That pusillanimous bluebelly, ain't seen nothin'! I'll give him saddle sores.

* * *

**Wow, you seem a little upset about that show. Why?**

Well, let's see, it's wrong. I don't know anyone who grew up like that. The show was total crap. It's all this northern propaganda. I don't like it. Plus, the guys on that show are sissies. I'm serious, they want to complain about their nice, modern, comfortable, lazy-boy recliner saddles, I'll give 'em something to wine about.

* * *

**Wow, alright, let's just leave it at that and we can all calm down now. **

Oops, sorry.

* * *

**Okay, so if you don't like Little House on the Prairie, what kinds of historical things do you find entertaining?**

I love these nuts that go out there every weekend – the accountants and stock brokers and whatever else who have too much damn money – and pretend that they are still fighting in my war. Now that is entertainment. The fact that these guys suffer through the bull shit we went through and somehow derive pleasure from it. Now that is what I call a masochist. Now, let me be honest, some of these idiots get it wrong and that pisses me off, but the hardcore guys, the guys who take the time to get it right, I can appreciate that. I sure as hell don't have to understand it, but I sure do appreciate it.

* * *

**We've talked to each member of your family about their respective mates and we already know a lot about you and Alice when it comes to her helping you to feel stronger and more in control. We'd like to hear about some of the more fun times. What is the first thing you can remember about her that made you smile?**

Her bounciness.

* * *

**Was it love at first sight for you or did you have to warm up to her?**

Well, at first I wasn't sure what emotions she was feeling toward me. Those weren't feelings I was accustomed to experiencing with my power. Once I adjusted, so maybe ten, fifteen minutes – well, I wanted to be with her for good.

* * *

**You and Edward had a similar experience of waiting almost a hundred years (each) before finding your mate. Did your experience help him at all?**

Not really, he's a pig headed pain in the ass sometimes. If we're being honest.

* * *

**Of course. Thank you for your candor.**

You're welcome, darlin'.

* * *

**Since we're on the subject and everyone loves to make Edward squirm – what are some things you might have said in an attempt to encourage him with Bella, but ****that he**** turned into something totally different?**

First off there is of course telling him to take a shower and just jack off. I mean really, if you spend as much time as I did away at war, sometimes you just have to take the edge off. It's not something I'm proud of, but I don't really have to do it anymore so it's all good. Edward was madder than a rattle snake with a shot gun in its face. Man, it's was funny. You should have been there.

Then there was his entire honeymoon. Do you know that boy wanted me to go with so I could keep him calm? That's right he did. And on top of that he was going to make me leave Alice home. Some how he got hold of some crack or something that day and found a way to get high because that shit just wasn't going to happen. He's nuts.

This is Edward we're talking about. He over reacts to _everything_! You should have seen his face when he came home after his interview. HA! No really, think of the worst way you could react to something and then make it so dramatic it's comedic, and then multiply that by about 350 and that's Edward's "rational" reaction level. I mean it.

* * *

**On a different Edward related topic, how did you feel about Edward saving Bella from the van?**

I'm damn glad he did it, because if he hadn't and she had been killed and then somehow Edward hadn't drained the body, I sure as hell would have and I'm sick of being the reason why we move all the time.

* * *

**Were you angry about Edward choosing a human girl as a mate?**

Angry isn't the right word. Frustrated, yes. He was finally acting happy, but I could hardly spend any time with him because I was afraid to hurt her. It didn't help that Alice became her best friend either so my time with my wife was cut off a little bit. It was really just frustrating and I ended up feeling like a monster all the time. Well, at least that's been taken care of now. Then again, there is a new problem now, even with them down at that damn cottage thing, I CAN STILL FEEL THEM! Then again, now so much of a problem, really, Alice is enjoying the hell out of it. It's like the whole house is filled with newlyweds again!

* * *

**Since you mention Edward and Bella still being in the cottage, it brings to mind Emmett's comment about the cottage. You said the house is full of newlyweds again, so how is the main house holding up?**

Don't ask that around Esme, she gets madder than I have ever seen her. Emmett and Rose are out of control. Well, we've had to replace the glass in their window multiple times. The wall has had to be spackled due to cracks. At one point Esme just tore down the whole wall and rebuilt it because there were so many cracks and the newest crack went from floor to ceiling. The hardwood floor has had to be replaced on _multiple_ occasions.

* * *

**Does it affect your ability differently when they are being – uh – aggressive about things?**

A little bit. I try to keep the inner beast wrangled while we're in the presence of our family – well, really just Emmett. I don't like to get that way with Esme in the house – it's not nice to act that way in mixed company – but at least if I do on occasion she doesn't really say anything about it. She doesn't really react. Anyway, when Em and Rose behave that way, well it makes it really hard to keep the beast wrangled. He fights against the ropes _a lot_. Then again, that gives Alice ideas when I think about the inner monster fighting against his ropes and that can be fun too.

* * *

**It seems we have come back around to the subject of Alice. Does your mind just naturally gravitate toward Alice?**

Oh yeah.

* * *

**Since it's so easy for your mind to focus on her, let's elaborate. What are some things about your relationship that most people don't see?**

Well, the first thing that comes to mind is that we rarely, if ever, fight. We usually don't have to. Alice just has a vision of how the fight will turn out and we just go with that to save time and energy. We try to make a point of not skipping the make up process though. That's fun.

Also, I think a lot of people feel she spends a lot of time talking and bouncing, which can be the case at times, but as a general rule, when we're together it's pretty calm. _She's_ pretty calm. With both of our powers we just have this way of communicating that allows our just being in the same room together an intimate act.

Another thing, you mentioned it before, people tend to see her keeping me calm and in control. She does this a lot, but it's certainly not the only thing she does. I'm not always the weak one in our relationship. Poor Alice has her own demons, too. If I could take them away from her, I would. I don't like that she feels that way sometimes. I don't ever change her emotions unless she asks me to, especially in those moments, but I do comfort her. We are really a partnership. We're in this crazy life, existence, whatever, together. She definitely makes mine easier, but I can tell that sometimes I make hers easier too.

* * *

**That's sweet. I'm sure you don't get marital advice from Emmett, really who would? Who do you go to for advice when Alice isn't an option?**

Alice usually is my option, but when it involves her or something that I don't want to tell her because I know she'll get upset I usually go to Carlisle. Now, I can kind of go to Edward, too. Now that he's married we can talk about that kind of stuff together. He gets it now. He understands going to school and having to pretend you're dating a person and have a normal teenage level of love for someone when you're really married to them and just want to take them home and find every way imaginable to express how much you love them. Carlisle gets to be an adult and in our cover story, he and Esme are married, so they get a freedom we don't. But like I said, Edward can overreact, too. Carlisle is very level headed and rational. He gives really good advice. He's a good husband and a good man and I hope that with more time and Alice's love I can be like him one day. Thank God I have all of eternity because I'm going to need it.

* * *

**I guess, to wrap things up, what is one thing people generally don't know about you, that you wish they did know?**

I'm not the jumpy, nervous creature people normally perceive me to be. I'm cool to hang out with, especially if it involves playing pranks. I love to pull pranks. I think it's a family bonding thing we have. I'm pretty good at pulling pranks and catching people in the act, so it's hard to get me back. It's also hard to get Edward back. With our powers, plus Alice will tell me if she sees anything, it's hard to keep things secret from me and Edward. So we team up and pull some great pranks. It's a lot of fun.

* * *

**Well, thanks for your time, Jasper.**

Not a problem, darlin'. It was a real pleasure.

* * *

**Why does that smirk give me goosebumps?**

Oh, that's not the smirk.

* * *

**Alright kids, next up on the agenda for this little adventure is an interview with Edward and Bella together. So go ahead and leave a little love by clocking that button bellow and leave a few questions for Twilight's favorite couple.**

**Jo**


End file.
